Tuesday, January 23, 2007

January is National Breakup Month!

If it wasn’t enough to have January being one of the coldest, if not dreariest, months of the year, they had to go and dub it the month more couples break up than any other month of the year.

Six out of ten couples will break up this month. Sounds awful, doesn’t it?

I never cared much for January anyway. After-Christmas bills are piling in, it’s too cold to enjoy most outdoor sports (or the ones I like anyway), and everything looks so bare and dreary. No wonder this is the month for the most breakups.

But, other than that, why is it that January beats out the others?

Here’s my educated guess. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

Something clicks in people’s heads that if they plan on getting out, they better do it now before it’s too late. When Valentine’s Day hits, they surely want to be with someone they love, or they don’t want to break their once-loved one’s heart on the most romantic day of the year so they do it now.

Another reason why it might be that January brings forth more breakups than any other month could be that the new year signals new beginnings. It is a time when people step back and reflect on the previous year, and if there are changes to be made, this is the time to do it.

Unfortunate for some, these changes include a reevaluation of their love life.

If a relationship isn’t working, and can’t be fixed, a breakup is inevitable. The Dear John or Dear Janet letter goes out, and that’s if they even bother to tell them at all. Believe me, from what I hear, some choose to just vanish from the scene of the crime without any warning, the dirty scumbags that they are.

So, what happens if you’re the dumpee?

After you’ve mourned the loss of your relationship, turn the other cheek and try to learn what it is you were supposed to learn from the relationship. Every relationship is a learning lesson in humility, courage and stamina. Other lessons will be learned, but those are enough in itself.

If you keep in mind that every single person who comes into your life from here on out on a soul mate basis does so for a reason, it helps you to see why it is that people are there in the first place. Some are not meant to be long-term. In fact, some just come into your life to help you with a particular situation, and they are gone. More than likely, most of them left in January, according to statistics, but even though they are gone in the flesh, their spirit will linger forever.

The reason for this is that when two soul mates meet in the first place, it is one spirit calling to another. The one spirit recognizes the other spirit from a previous life perhaps, but whatever the case, there is instant recognition.

That recognition, that spiritual connection, will never go away even if the breakup ends on less than amicable terms.

This may or may not be what you want to hear, but from a professional stand-point, this is what happens.

So, if you happen to be one of the statistics this year, and you become the victim of a breakup, remember that there was a reason for the two of you to come together in the first place. Figure out what it was that you learned from it, and go on from there.

Breaking up is certainly hard to do because nothing hurts worse than the pain of the heart.

Even though it seems a callous thing on the part of your boyfriend/girlfriend, think of it as a favor. To extend a bad relationship would be detrimental to your well-being. Things would only escalate, and who knows what might happen.

There is a distinct plan for you, and this certain person was only meant to come into your life to teach you something, or you teach him, so find ways to look on this as a learning experience. You’ll come out ahead in the long run and it will only empower you for the next relationship.

And just think of how nice the next one will be because you have learned a valuable lesson that will give you more strength and power than you had before.

With each relationship, you grow stronger and more confident in what does and does not make you happy. Before long, you will find the one who is supposed to be with you on a long term basis.

Meanwhile, pick up the pieces, learn what it is you are supposed to learn from this relationship, and move on into a better life and a better world of pure, soul mate love.

© Dorothy Thompson

Relationship expert Dorothy Thompson is the editor/contributing author of ROMANCING THE SOUL and coaches those seeking answers to their soul mate questions. You can visit her website at http://www.dorothythompson.net/ or her blog at http://www.soulmateadvice.blogspot.com/.

Tags: National Breakup Month, breaking up, relationship help, relationship advice, Valentine’s Day, soul mate

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Relationship Advice: Will My First Love and I Be a Couple Again?

I have been reunited with my first love and we have been in touch through lunch, emails, and voicemails for the last four years. We are both currently married. I want to know if we will ever be sexually passionate again and be a couple as we once were? I truly believe he is my twin soul mate.

Once a soul mate, always a soul mate. It’s very normal to harbor feelings for our first love, so don’t feel guilty about it! As for him being your twin soul, I’d have to know more, but the way it sounds, it looks to me that he might be one of your companion soul mates.

Companion soul mates are just as special as your twin soul, so even if he does not turn out to be your twin soul, he was and still is a very important part of your life. As for as being the couple you once were, that is highly unlikely because the couple you once were has gone through a lot of life lessons and with that, growing pains, and the two of you have become entirely different persons you once were. While the feelings can be stirred and the passions reignited, the road you both are on now is completely different. You both have married, and I’m taking it that if you and he feel that there is a need to reunite, there are problems within both your marriages that must be solved. If they cannot be solved, it’s time to move on. Whether that includes you two becoming one again, it would depend on the factors involved. Because the spirits of the two of you are fighting to be rejoined, the reality of it is that it’s not that simple. The first thing you need to do is decide whether breaking up your marriage is worth it.

If the marriage has problems that can be resolved, my first instinct is to tell you to at least try to work it out because you don’t want to make a big mistake. I’ve heard of cases where two soul mates who are in marriages meet and decide to leave their spouses for their new soul mate only to find they wish they had at least tried to resolve whatever problems there were in the marriage because, in reality, they still loved them. Thus, they found themselves in the soul mate triangle, and even more problems surfaced because of it.

If the problems cannot be resolved, then there’s your cue. But, unless you want to find yourself in a three-way soul mate relationship which has its own set of problems, I’d try to tie up loose ends by looking inside your marriage and seeing what you think the problem might be. If there is a communication problem, encourage your spouse to talk to you about it. If there are drugs, alcohol, or abuse-related issues, my advice to you would be to pack up your bags because it’s only going to get worse without any outside help.

With that said, there is no harm in communicating with your previous soul mate because there is a strong reason why he has resurfaced, and I’m figuring it is because your spirit is crying out for help concerning whatever it is that is going on in your marriage. He has been called to help you with this. Don’t look at it as an opportunity to escape. Look at it as a golden opportunity to find out in which direction you need to go. Listen to your inner self. Your inner self will tell you what you need to do and where you need to go.

Hope this helps!

The Soul Mate Queen
To read more advice, or to ask my advice on a soul mate issue, you can visit www.soulmatequeen.homestead.com/FreeRelationshipAdvice.html.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Advice With a Heart

You know, one of the worse things in my life as a soul mate relationship coach is having to tell people what they don't want to hear. I want to bring out that magic wand and do whatever it takes to have things happen they way they want it to happen. These people open up their hearts to me. I'm sure sometimes I'm their last resort, and I try to put this aside and answer from a professional point of view.

But, unfortunately, I also have a heart.

I try not to let this hamper my decision, for I know they are looking for expert advice, and I try to give it to them like it is, but I still pick up on their emotions, their anguish, their hopelessness.

This makes it really hard.

I am an empath, and this is one of the ways I am able to help people. As I am reading their letters, I can get inside their emotions, and I use this to help me give advice...with a heart.

I was reading a free newspaper the other day, and on the second page was a relationship column written by a local, and someone I didn't know.

Of course, being as she wrote in my field, I read her column, and all the while, trying to figure out how I would approach the same question.

I was just simply aghast at her answer.

The question was, "I am in love with a married man. Can you tell me what I should do?"

The so-called relationship columnist proceeded to berate her for even thinking such a thing. No words of wisdom. No help. Just her opinion on what an awful person she was, and basically grinding her spirit to the ground.

Before I read her answer, I knew what my answer would be. I knew that, unfortunately, some of our soul mates come into our lives at the wrong time. There are reasons for it, and either parties should not feel ashamed for what has happened. They should feel ashamed if they acted upon it, but not for the feelings they have for one another.

For, you see, the soul mate relationship is a whole different thing. Yes, it's about relationships, but you have to take a different approach. There are no society standards and no right or wrong moral issues, no matter what anyone says. It's on a different realm, and that realm is of a spiritual nature, and doesn't even enter into today's thinking of what is right and wrong.

It's often hard for people to perceive this. And this is why I'm here.

The soul mate world does not run by society's standards, nor are they governed by some narcissistic know-it-all with the diploma that states they have that right to tell people what they feel is right or wrong.

The soul mate world has to be interpreted through a medium that does not involve anything other than that deep understanding, and that spiritual communication that involves insight and intuitiveness. But, more than that, it involves knowing the way the soul mate relationship works. And no diploma will give you that.

You either have it, or you don't.

If you do have it, it's the most wonderful thing in the world because it gives you the power to look underneath the exterior, and delve into the interior where the true soul mate core lies.

I felt I had to get this message out because there are so many so-called "experts" out there that are doing more harm than good. Don't berate a person for something they either don't understand, or can't control. Help them. Show them the way out, so that they can go, "Okay, I understand that. Now, I can do something about it." Lead them back in the right direction, but don't make them feel that they are worthless because of something they had no control over.

And this is what the wonderful world of soul mates is really all about.

If you would like advice on the soul mate relationship, please visit www.soulmatequeen.com/freerelationshipadvice.html.

May all your soul mate dreams come true!

Dorothy Thompson
Relationship Expert & Author

Monday, October 30, 2006


Happy Halloween everyone!

Not soul mate related, but....

I have an online writing group called The Writersville Gang, and we're pleased as punch to announce the release of our second free eBook, HAUNTED HAPPENINGS!

If you would like a free copy, visit www.writersville.homestead.com/hauntedhappenings.html.

Enjoy your free eBook, and please sign the guestbook to let us know what you think about the eBook, or just to say hello!


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Romancing the Soul - # 2 Bestselling Book at Zumaya Publications

Wonderful news...I just found out (thanks to Kathy Holmes!) that Romancing the Soul, my soul mate anthology, is # 2 bestselling book at Zumaya Publications! Can I get a woop-woop????

Check it out at http://www.zumayapublications.html/!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Soul Mate Quiz

As some of you know, I write, talk and sleep soul mates. I've got a book of true soul mate stories (Romancing the Soul), an ebook or two I sell on my website about soul mates and now I've got a brand new forum with a brand new quiz I'd love all of you to fill out just for fun. Go to
http://soulmateadvice.proboards80.com/ and you'll see the quiz there. Answer it and I'll post my individual interpretations on the board as they come in. It's been really fun so far. I judge your answers by which category I feel your particular soul mate falls into. That's much the way I did it with Romancing the Soul, only I didn't use letters and numbers; instead I used stories but the quiz operates much the same way.

Why even bother taking the quiz?

I'm trying to find new ways to explain to people what this dang soul mate relationship thing is all about. People make it so complicated and it's really not. While I can't tell you if your relationship is going to last and I can't tell your future, I can tell you just which kind of soul mate your soul mate is so that you can use rational decisions regarding your future with him or her.

No, not all soul mates are meant to stay physically together and no I don't have a magic ball to make that happen, but I can tell you that no matter what happens, once you come into contact with your soul mate(s), the bond never ever goes away because it's that first initial spiritual attraction that draws you together and once you are in its grips, it never lets go. And that is a really neat thing. I like to think it gives people some kind of leverage within their emotions when one of their soul mates leaves them. Nothing hurts worse than the pain of the heart, but if the person can just stop for a minute and figure out why that person came into their life, what good things they brought into your life and how their lives would have been so different without them, they could heal better. The pain will lessen over time but just knowing that that bond is still there gives them a little bit of hope, I think.

An interesting thing happened to me the other day. I found an article on the web that was interesting and so I emailed the author. Turns out he's one of the professors of a big university who is one of the nation's biggest skeptics on anything out of the ordinary. I didn't read his bio until later which was pretty darn impressive. He's been on Larry King and other shows and in many many publications.

We tossed a few emails back and forth and he was determined to hold onto the idea that my ideas was my opinion and no way could I convince him and anyone else that what I believe is what they should believe.

I told him many things, but it wasn't until I told him that all I had to do was ask him a few questions and I could find at least one of his soul mates, if not more.

He emailed me back, asking if I wanted to prove it by answering a few questions over the phone during one of his classes where all the students would be able to hear it via speaker phone.

Never one to turn down a good challenge, I accepted and the soul mate challenge will happen in either March or April. Here's my chance to see if I have the right stuff, for sure.

The article I read to find this guy can be found on http://www.quackwatch.org/11Ind/browne.html. I had written an article mentioning Sylvia Browne and went to the web to find out if her last name ends with an e or not to make sure I had it right and lo and behold I find this guy's article.

So, I'm looking forward to that, unless it's a set-up to land on Quackwatch. Eek.

Now for some rather nice news...I emailed my publisher, Liz Burton of Zumaya, to see if she'd can the last mss I sent her and would be interested in my soul mate book "The Soul Mate Triangle - Unlocking the Mysteries of the Soul Mate Relationship." She did and not only that, she's getting it out as soon as possible. Now how many publishers do you know of that is so supportive and gets right back to you within hours?

Amazing. And, without even seeing the mss, she's sending me a contract on Monday. Boggles the mind.

So, take the quiz for me and see how well I stack up your soul mate and have a wonderful week-end!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Can You Reverse Soul Mate Energy?

Q: I understand that when soulmates meet very often one may pick up on the connection whilst the other dosn't or goes into denial. I've heard that the energy connection can be put into the spiritual reverse so the other mate gets more interactive. How would you encourage this spiritual reverse of the energies?

A: The first thing you need to look into is why it is that one soul mate feels the spiritual connection, but the other doesn’t. That is your key. I feel that when the love isn’t reciprocated, the one who is backing off is the one who has not come to terms with him or herself. In other words, there is still some baggage that the other is not letting go of which is preventing them from opening up their heart and feeling this soul mate energy. I feel that they do feel it, but for one reason or another, and because they still have some karma within themselves to work out, they put up a block. In most cases, they are putting up that block because of past hurts, although there are zillions of other reasons such as maybe they need space to find out who they are before they begin another relationship.

To reverse the energy connection would be to find a way to knock down that block, of course. I really don’t believe we have that power to do so because we are not that person and we have not gone through the same experiences they have that caused the block. Sure, we can be sympathetic and try all we can to help that person see it our way, but it’s not going to happen until it’s time for it to happen.

I have found that timing plays a huge part in whether soul mates are meant to be together at a particular time in history. I also feel that our life’s paths were already mapped out before we were born, so it wouldn’t be following either one’s life path to MAKE it happen and would, basically, screw up the scheme of things.

There was an interesting story I read about a man who believed he could turn a woman he had never met into his soul mate. He made the news and everything. Promoted the heck out of it.

The story goes he found the woman with whom he planned on doing this on an airplane. She balked at first, but then relented. Leaving her family and the life she once knew behind, she joined him and they began their relationship. It bombed eventually and she flew back to her homeland citing the relationship was more like an experiment, which it basically was, and didn’t feel natural.

I found the man’s email address and emailed him, telling him that soul mates cannot be “made,” and instead had to be born into it.

He didn’t take kindly to it and I suppose he was embarrassed the whole thing bombed.

In essence, I don’t believe that you can reverse the soul mate energies. If the timing isn’t right at this particular time, perhaps it will be right further down the road. You just can’t force the soul mate relationship. Let it happen on its own accord. It stands a better chance at succeeding.

Hope this helps! ;o)


If you have a soul mate question and would like my assistance, you are welcome to fill out the online form at my website, The Soul Mate Queen, at www.soulmatequeen.com. This is a FREE feature. Please state on your form if you do not want your question and my answer made public on this blog. Future questions and answers will appear on this blog unless you have stated otherwise.


Remember that all soul mates play important parts in your lives and that no one particular soul mate is more important than the other for they all are meant to come into your life to help you reach your higher self. ;o)

Dorothy Thompson
Relationship Expert & Author