Tuesday, January 23, 2007

January is National Breakup Month!

If it wasn’t enough to have January being one of the coldest, if not dreariest, months of the year, they had to go and dub it the month more couples break up than any other month of the year.

Six out of ten couples will break up this month. Sounds awful, doesn’t it?

I never cared much for January anyway. After-Christmas bills are piling in, it’s too cold to enjoy most outdoor sports (or the ones I like anyway), and everything looks so bare and dreary. No wonder this is the month for the most breakups.

But, other than that, why is it that January beats out the others?

Here’s my educated guess. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

Something clicks in people’s heads that if they plan on getting out, they better do it now before it’s too late. When Valentine’s Day hits, they surely want to be with someone they love, or they don’t want to break their once-loved one’s heart on the most romantic day of the year so they do it now.

Another reason why it might be that January brings forth more breakups than any other month could be that the new year signals new beginnings. It is a time when people step back and reflect on the previous year, and if there are changes to be made, this is the time to do it.

Unfortunate for some, these changes include a reevaluation of their love life.

If a relationship isn’t working, and can’t be fixed, a breakup is inevitable. The Dear John or Dear Janet letter goes out, and that’s if they even bother to tell them at all. Believe me, from what I hear, some choose to just vanish from the scene of the crime without any warning, the dirty scumbags that they are.

So, what happens if you’re the dumpee?

After you’ve mourned the loss of your relationship, turn the other cheek and try to learn what it is you were supposed to learn from the relationship. Every relationship is a learning lesson in humility, courage and stamina. Other lessons will be learned, but those are enough in itself.

If you keep in mind that every single person who comes into your life from here on out on a soul mate basis does so for a reason, it helps you to see why it is that people are there in the first place. Some are not meant to be long-term. In fact, some just come into your life to help you with a particular situation, and they are gone. More than likely, most of them left in January, according to statistics, but even though they are gone in the flesh, their spirit will linger forever.

The reason for this is that when two soul mates meet in the first place, it is one spirit calling to another. The one spirit recognizes the other spirit from a previous life perhaps, but whatever the case, there is instant recognition.

That recognition, that spiritual connection, will never go away even if the breakup ends on less than amicable terms.

This may or may not be what you want to hear, but from a professional stand-point, this is what happens.

So, if you happen to be one of the statistics this year, and you become the victim of a breakup, remember that there was a reason for the two of you to come together in the first place. Figure out what it was that you learned from it, and go on from there.

Breaking up is certainly hard to do because nothing hurts worse than the pain of the heart.

Even though it seems a callous thing on the part of your boyfriend/girlfriend, think of it as a favor. To extend a bad relationship would be detrimental to your well-being. Things would only escalate, and who knows what might happen.

There is a distinct plan for you, and this certain person was only meant to come into your life to teach you something, or you teach him, so find ways to look on this as a learning experience. You’ll come out ahead in the long run and it will only empower you for the next relationship.

And just think of how nice the next one will be because you have learned a valuable lesson that will give you more strength and power than you had before.

With each relationship, you grow stronger and more confident in what does and does not make you happy. Before long, you will find the one who is supposed to be with you on a long term basis.

Meanwhile, pick up the pieces, learn what it is you are supposed to learn from this relationship, and move on into a better life and a better world of pure, soul mate love.

© Dorothy Thompson

Relationship expert Dorothy Thompson is the editor/contributing author of ROMANCING THE SOUL and coaches those seeking answers to their soul mate questions. You can visit her website at http://www.dorothythompson.net/ or her blog at http://www.soulmateadvice.blogspot.com/.

Tags: National Breakup Month, breaking up, relationship help, relationship advice, Valentine’s Day, soul mate

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